Triandem nursing: tandem breastfeeding three children of different ages

What is triandem nursing?

Triandem nursing refers to breastfeeding three children at the same time, either simultaneously or at different times of the day. Usually, mothers breastfeed through pregnancy and after birth, but they could also stop during pregnancy and continue on after the third nursling is born.

Breastfeeding is considered to be safe in a normal pregnancy, and so is tandem nursing after the baby is born. In some high-risk pregnancies, it might be better to not breastfeed, but in my case, which was quite complicated, no one had any concern about me tandem breastfeeding while pregnant.

First of all, you might be wondering if it is even possible to tandem breastfeed three children of different ages.

It is possible to breastfeed three children at the same time. If the children are close in age and the pregnancies are normal, one can tandem breastfeed the two oldest through pregnancy and end up breastfeeding three children of different ages.

I never thought I would find myself triandem nursing. I thought the older one was done, and the little one was not as attached during the last couple of months of pregnancy. Then I had my third baby, the milk came in again, and all of them wanted some.

I didn’t exactly decide to breastfeed three at the same time, it just happened.

What are the benefits of tandem breastfeeding three children of different ages?

Breastfeeding has its own amazing set of benefits for babies and older children. If you are triandem nursing three successfully, that means three times the benefits.

Many times, breastfeeding parents will wean their older ones when a new baby comes. That is a difficult process for everyone, and you can completely avoid it by tandem breastfeeding while pregnant and after the third baby is born.

When the baby comes, the quiet cuddly times with two children breastfeeding at the same time will make for perfect sibling bonding moments.

And finally, there are a lot of difficulties that come with breastfeeding that are not an issue at all when breastfeeding children of different ages. Firstly, the milk doesn’t have to come in because you already have some, so your newborn baby will have your milk available on the first day. That was incredibly important for my secondborn.

Also, engorgement is much less of a problem, and mastitis can be avoided more easily if you have two older children that are able to empty your breasts in a moment if you need them to.

Here is my list of pros and cons of tandem breastfeeding, which heavily applies to triandem breastfeeding too.

Can you make enough milk to tandem breastfeed three?

Absolutely, it is possible. If your doctor doesn’t have any problem with it, you can try to tandem breastfeed three and see how it goes. You will need to drink enough water and eat well enough to be able to have enough water and nutrients for your three kids and yourself.

Your body adapts according to how much your kids demand. I’m sure there is a limit to how many children you can tandem breastfeed successfully, in general, but it is definitively more than three.

I also thought it would be a big deal of a problem. Partly because I had breastfeeding aversion, I tried to reduce how much my older two were breastfeeding during pregnancy. My oldest one even seemed done with it. And then M was born and all of a sudden I was breastfeeding three children of different ages. And it was not such a big deal.

My third baby gained a pound in his first week and keeps growing very well even though his two older brothers are still breastfeeding.

To make sure that the little one has enough, I make the other two feed from the same breast, so that the other one is always ready for the newborn. During the first two weeks, I always offered the older kids the one that my baby had fed from last.

At two months after birth, I rarely think about which breast I should offer to each kid.

I have made sure to drink a lot of water and eat relatively well, and my blood tests have come back alright for hormones and essential nutrients.

How is nursing aversion while triandem nursing?

In my experience, the most difficult part with nursing aversion is tandem breastfeeding while pregnant.

The most common risk factors for nursing aversion are extended breastfeeding, tandem breastfeeding, and breastfeeding while pregnant, so imagine how tandem breastfeeding during pregnancy must feel!

For me, it was too much. I burned out and needed a couple of months of a little more time and space for myself. I didn’t burn out only because I was tandem breastfeeding while pregnant. But tandem breastfeeding while pregnant gave me the worst agitation, to the point that one night I was nursing my 1-year-old sick baby in bed the whole night and I ended up biting my own hand to cope. That night I decided to night-wean.

It took me a long time to recover. Now that I am breastfeeding three children, it is not that difficult. The older ones know that I’m not an open bar, and nursing the little one doesn’t give me nursing aversion.

If you are struggling with nursing aversion, here is how to cope with feeling touched out while breastfeeding.

How can I establish boundaries while triandem breastfeeding?

Boundaries are good, and if you are breastfeeding three children of different ages, probably two of them are old enough to have some boundaries around breastfeeding. You can set kind boundaries with your older children to limit how much you breastfeed them.

Talk to them about your limits. Find a good moment, not when they are asking. Explain to them why you want to have that limit, and agree on a wayto signal when they need to unlatch next time they are breastfeeding. You can also teach them to ask, and to not touch your boobs without permission.

My body makes an effort to produce milk, and there are three of you that want to breastfeed. Since you can eat and drink other things, I won’t always say yes when you want to nurse. I want you to ask nicely. When I’m tired, I will sing a song to let you know. I want you to stop when the song is over.

I know you want to nurse to sleep at night, and I really like it when we go to sleep together, but from now on, I will only breastfeed you for 5 minutes because I need to rest too. But I can help you fall asleep some other way, do you have any ideas? When the time is over, I will count to three and then you will stop.

Remind them of this boundary in a very repetitive way every time until it becomes a routine. After a few days, they will understand.

Establishing boundaries with breastfeeding is very important. I have been breastfeeding for almost five years non-stop, tandem breastfeeding while pregnant and all. I have felt used many many times, and I have even resented them for asking. It is not fair to them or to you. We should not do things that make us resent our kids.

If they ask to nurse every time you sit, or they ask to nurse before saying good morning, or you feel like they see you and only see boobs, you need boundaries and so do they!

How is triandem breastfeeding at night?

I have no idea how anyone would be able to nurse three children at night.

So for me, triandem nursing at night is simply impossible.

On some special nights, I have nursed them all to sleep, one after the other. It is very special, and also completely unsustainable to do every day. For my mental well-being.

If they still nursed through the night, I don’t know how that would be possible. If there were only two, I would ask the older one to climb on top of me every time they wanted to nurse. I have done that to breastfeed two kids to sleep. However, doing that through the night sounds to me like a nursing aversion nightmare. And convincing a small child to stop nursing because their sibling woke up sounds like a nightmare too.

If I was your friend and you were tandem breastfeeding through the night and pregnant, I would very strongly suggest that you night wean them before the baby comes.

If you are triandem breastfeeding through the night happily, I think you are a unicorn!

Please let me know your experiences triandem breastfeeding, I would love to know your stories!