Pros and Cons of extended breastfeeding: important things to consider

As with everything else, there are pros and cons of extended breastfeeding.

When there are no complications, breastfeeding is the healthiest way to feed babies.

It is recommended that babies are exclusively breastfed until they are six months old. After that, they can start other foods while still getting most of their calories from breast milk. As they get older and eat more table food, it is expected that they reduce breastfeeding.

Breastfeeding a baby that is one year old or more is considered extended breastfeeding. Since the general recommendation is that babies and toddlers breastfeed at least until they are two and even more, extended breastfeeding is recommended.

See here the World Health Organization’s recommendations on breastfeeding.

However, extended breastfeeding comes with some sacrifices and disadvantages for the breastfeeding mom.

Here is a list of pros and cons of extended breastfeeding from a mom that has done it twice and hopes to do it once again.

The Pros of extended breastfeeding

What are the health benefits of extended breastfeeding for babies?

Nutrition

Breast milk is the best and most complete nutrition you can give to your little child. It is tailored to the exact needs of your baby and it changes as your baby grows to keep being the perfect food for them.

Some people believe that breast milk stops having any nutritional value after one year, but that is a myth. Breast milk is fantastic and keeps being fantastic regardless of your baby’s age.

Immune system

Breast milk boosts the immune system of your child. This is quite important because even though formula tries to imitate the nutritional value of breast milk, it can’t give your baby antibodies.

I think this is a phrase that we hear so often that we don’t realize how important it is. Boosting your baby’s immune system means that they can fight illness better and therefore have lower mortality rates.

Other long term health benefits

Breastfeeding reduces the risks of allergies, obesity, and diabetes later in life.

What are the health benefits of extended breastfeeding for the breastfeeding parent?

Breastfeeding has been shown to reduce the risk of:

• postpartum depression
• cancer
• diabetes
• hypertension
• obesity
• heart attack

More weight loss for the breastfeeding parent

Since the majority of pregnant people gain more than the recommended amount of weight in pregnancy, for most people the more rapid weight gain will be another health benefit of extended breastfeeding.

Emotional benefits of extended breastfeeding

The act of breastfeeding is a very intimate moment that you will have every day, multiple times a day, with your baby, then your toddler, and then your preschooler or age-school kid. Until you decide to stop.

Breastfeeding releases oxytocin, which makes both of you happy. Happy moments are the foundation of any good relationship. And having a good secure attachment with our parents is one of the most important things for our well-being all throughout life.

Your baby can self-wean when they are ready

Weaning your breastfeeding baby is not a piece of cake. If you don’t mind breastfeeding for longer, it is much easier to let them decide when they want to stop breastfeeding. The transition will be much less stressful for everyone.

Extended breastfeeding can offer a way to manage the terrible twos

Breastfeeding a toddler will make it easier for them to calm down when they are having a toddler tantrum or meltdown. Tantrums and meltdowns are completely normal around age two. They need to go through them in order to learn how to cope with their big feelings.

It is important to talk about feelings with small children and to respond to tantrums mindfully. Breastfeeding could be a way to calm them down when they need some help before talking about what made them so upset.

Gives opportunities for quiet bonding time

All young children need quiet time, and so do all parents of young children. Breastfeeding can offer you an easy way to break the madness if some of you are losing your cool.

In my experience, “boobie” is a magic word. It can stop any fight or upset before it has a chance to happen. Even though children need to develop other coping strategies, it’s not bad to have that trick up your sleeve.

The possibility of tandem breastfeeding

If you plan to have another baby with a relatively small age gap between siblings, you could end up tandem breastfeeding for a while.

Tandem breastfeeding offers opportunities for bonding time between the siblings and can make the transition to becoming a big brother or sister easier for your toddler.

Even though tandem breastfeeding has its own set of pros and cons, I consider the possibility of tandem breastfeeding a good thing all in all.

The Cons of extended breastfeeding

What are the health and emotional cons of extended breastfeeding for babies?

There are none.

I imagine it would be bad for a child if there are no boundaries associated with breastfeeding. In the beginning, when they are small, it is good to breastfeed on demand. Since nursing is soothing and toddlers tend to get hurt (physically and emotionally), it makes sense that many toddlers will grow very attached to nursing.

In my opinion, people confuse between what is socially acceptable and what is actually acceptable for the person who is nursing their baby. So they may tell you that you need to establish some boundaries with breastfeeding when you don’t really feel like you need to.

Boundaries are good for everyone. Babies that don’t need to be breastfed so frequently for nutritional purposes are old enough to understand boundaries and benefit from them. Establish boundaries IF YOU WANT TO.

What are the cons of extended breastfeeding for the breastfeeding parent?

Lack of freedom

Extended breastfeeding can interfere with the mom’s needs for personal space and time.

Being a breastfeeding mom means being physically available every day.

Breastfeeding is their source of food and comfort, and they have been doing this every day of their lives, multiple times and probably day and night. You can’t just take that away without rigorously planning and preparing to wean.

If your baby is used to being nursed to sleep, that means that you have a curfew. If your baby needs to be fed at night, that means that you can not leave the house after their bedtime. Your non-breastfeeding partner can’t help you with that.

After more than a year of this, the lack of freedom can start to interfere with your well-being. Especially if all the sacrifices that you are doing by breastfeeding for more than one year are not somehow compensated or at the very least appreciated.

Feeling touched out while extended breastfeeding

When you have a little person (or two) literally feeding from your body day and night for more than a year, you can start to feel touched out while breastfeeding.

You want to be left alone for a while, and sometimes nursing feels like nails on chalk. You literally and physically need to not be touched anymore.

Even though there are some ways to cope with feeling touched out while breastfeeding, some people will need to wean in order to feel like themselves again. Some other people will feel that the only way to get some relief from feeling this way is weaning, but it is not. There are many ways in which other people can offer you support, time, and space for yourself. You don’t have to wean if you don’t want to.

Mom burnout

Our resources are finite. Mom burnout happens when a mom has maxed out her physical, mental, and emotional capacities to take care of the physical, mental and emotional needs of her children.

Mom burnout, or parent burnout, can feel very similar to anxiety and depression. It can feel horrible.

The reality is that if you have breastfed your child after one year, it means that your body has been nourishing your baby’s body for at least 600 days. You have spent countless hours feeding your baby instead of doing things to take care of yourself.

Extended breastfeeding is one of those things that many moms do for their kids and no one else can do. Sometimes it is not even acknowledged by others and sometimes even frowned upon.

So after breastfeeding your baby beyond one year, many times a day, and likely not receiving any extra support or encouragement for it, it is very natural that you can burn out.

If you feel the mom burnout, you need to find a way to make your life easier.

If you don’t want to wean your baby yet, and you have a partner, talk with them. Explain how you are feeling and ask for what you need in order to have some extra energy and continue with your demanding responsibilities as a mom. Demand what you need if that is what it takes for you to get it. If you don’t have a partner, ask for help from your family and friends.

If you want to wean your baby, do it. But if you feel like you want to keep breastfeeding but need some rest and relief from your other responsibilities, you should be able to get the extra support.

Breastfeeding can make trying to conceive difficult

Breastfeeding can affect your fertility in a negative way. This doesn’t mean that you definitely won’t get pregnant unless you wean your baby first.

In general, you are going to be fertile as long as you have a period. But your period may take a few months or a couple of years to return postpartum if you are breastfeeding.

Some moms have babies very close together and tandem breastfeed. Some other moms don’t get their period until they wean completely.

There are lots of places with amazing information about trying to conceive while breastfeeding, like this article in Kellymom.

If you don’t want to wean your child yet, maybe you don’t have to. You can try some other things first. When I was looking for information and experiences in blogs and forums online, EVERYONE recommended the book Taking Charge of Your Fertility by Tony Weschler, which has an entire chapter on trying to conceive while breastfeeding and is available on Amazon in both physical and digital form.

You have to watch their lifestyle a little more if you breastfeed

In my case, there are many foods that I can’t eat while breastfeeding because my kids are very allergic to them.

Some moms may want to drink some alcohol here and there. Or smoke.

There are a lot of medications that you can’t have while breastfeeding.

In general, extended breastfeeding means that you have to be mindful of what you put in your body for longer.

What would you add to this list of pros and cons of extended breastfeeding?