Hello, I’m Anna. I’m 30 years old and I’ve had three babies in less than five years. It hasn’t been easy, and I haven’t been taking care of myself enough. I’m committed to losing weight as a mom of three because I need to and I deserve to. Let’s see if I make it on the first try.
If you don’t have a good relationship with food and you think talking about weight loss could be triggering, please don’t read this and watch Rachel Wringley on Youtube. She helps women move from binge eating to a normal healthy relationship with food. If you think you have an eating disorder, please get professional help. You deserve it.
I have not been feeling like myself for a while now, and I’ve decided that it’s time to go back to my older active self. And I know that I can do it in a healthy way, and how to do it because I have done it before.
After I had my second and third babies, I had some difficult circumstances in the family and was not in the best mental state. I’m an emotional eater, so I have gained a lot of weight postpartum both times.
After my second son, I lost 40 pounds. I lost 30 lbs in 4 months. I remember at some point thinking “That was not that difficult”. After I lost weight and started exercising and feeling better, I no longer had the urge to eat my emotions.
Then I got pregnant, had a healthy pregnancy, and the same thing happened again. And I went back to binge eating. So now I find myself exactly where I was 2 years ago.
I’m going to do it again. I will lose weight and glow up as a stay-at-home mom of three littles.
As much as I would love to be able to say that it’s for health and well-being reasons, the fact is that it’s not only that. I also don’t like how I look. Rationally, I want to be healthy and live a long fulfilling life. Emotionally, I am so excited to look good!
This is how I lost 40 lbs as a stay-at-home mom of two
Finding the motivation to lose weight as a mom
Getting into the right mindset is the most difficult and meaningful part.
All of us more or less know that to lose weight we have to eat fewer calories and move more, right?
So really it all comes down to choosing to do that most of the time for a long period of time even when our brain is telling us to eat all that sugar.
To lose my depression weight the last time, I started by getting a pair of pants and a couple of skin care products from The Ordinary and telling my husband that I was going to take a very long bath every afternoon and he would just deal with whatever was happening at the moment.
After a few weeks of having a bath every day, taking care of my skin a little bit, and feeling sorry for myself, I was ready to start.
How I planned my weight loss diet as a busy stay-at-home mom
First of all, I came up with a plan to lose weight in a way that was not going to be complete torture. I decided that I was only going to eat foods that I love. If it’s not delicious, it’s not worthy of being consumed by me. I don’t care how healthy it is. I need to love my life while I lose weight.
I also didn’t want to allow myself to finish my children’s food. Many times I felt guilty about throwing food away. Until I realized that I’m not a garbage can. Ok, wasting food is bad, but I won’t punish myself for not knowing how much my kids are going to eat. It’s unpredictable. And I won’t make them finish their plate.
I didn’t feel that I had the time or the confidence to go to the gym. I (obviously) felt like I was carrying a very heavy suit everywhere I went. Going up the stairs made me feel like shit.
So I decided to start only with my diet. And I looked online for information on how to lose weight and also what rate of weight loss to expect. I am a scientist, I like numbers and knowledge and being able to measure the changes made me excited.
I figured out how many calories I would have to eat in a day to lose around 2 lbs every week. And then I figured out how many calories I would have to eat for each meal.
This varied along the way, as I learned that it was very easy for me to fast in the morning and eat a lot of protein and fiber, and then in the evening, I had a heavier dinner with potatoes, rice, or other carbs. I used Lose It! to check the calories and plan, but I didn’t count my calories daily. I used the app to track my weight, though.
I didn’t make myself go hungry. If I felt like I was eating too little, I just ate more. I focused on being mindful of the portions.
I also learned about weight loss and muscle mass from Natacha Oceane. I bought her workout plan HOME. which came with a nutrition guide. From her, I basically learned that protein makes you feel satiated and helps you not lose muscle while you lose weight. I also learned that building and keeping muscle is very important. So I noted that and promised myself that my reward after losing the first 20 lbs would be to start going to the gym. I ended up starting before that because I was feeling like it.
I wanted to go on autopilot and not have to think about food at all, so I mostly ate the same delicious things every day.
I didn’t eat until noon because I wasn’t hungry, but sometimes I drank coffee or matcha with almond milk. I used to prepare myself lots of lattes with more calories than that. But I did it for pleasure, not nourishment or energy. So I figured out that a lower-calorie version gave me just as much pleasure and made that change.
Around noon I had a protein shake. After a couple of hours, I had a pre-packaged salad or wrap.
For snacks, I had two main options, and I had two snacks a day. The more nutritious and filling option was rice cakes with salmon. And the not-so-nutritious and not-so-filling option was a latte and bread sticks with chocolate. I knew exactly how many rice cakes and how many breadsticks fit into my budget, so I did not have to think at all. And if I had one more, I knew that I was going over the budget.
Then for dinner, I had whatever I was making for my kids, who eat really well. I tried not to stuff my face, but I didn’t count calories. I ate a lot of volume of the same veggies they were eating and smaller portions of the calorie-dense parts of the meal. And for dessert, I always had lots of berries and a protein chocolate pudding.
Then I had a night snack that was also counted in my budget. It had three sugar-free mini chocolate cookies and a handful of nuts. It was so incredibly good! The chocolate and the walnuts were so so delicious together!
I knew myself, as I know myself now, and I knew that my evening version is the most self-destructive. So I asked my mother to portion these snacks for me and to only give me one each day. At first, I asked my husband, but he gave in too easily when I asked for an extra portion. My mother gave in too, but I was a little more ashamed of asking. She was my neighbor at the moment. I think it was fun. She encouraged me a lot.
Lastly, I made sure to always have sparkling water and ice. Sometimes flavored. It makes me feel like I’m drinking soda. Actually, I have a glass of pomegranate-flavored sparkling soda with me right now. I had a Diet Coke here and there. I drank bone broth for a few weeks too. I know some people may find it strange, but in my culture, it’s really not. My kids love bone broth too.
After a couple of months of eating this way, I didn’t think about food anymore. I ate the things that I liked, and I knew what to eat when I was hungry, and what kind of food I wanted. If I had a craving for cookies or something like that, sometimes I just ate the cookies, and sometimes I moved on. I didn’t think about it too much, and I knew to stop when I had eaten a reasonable portion. And I ate out occasionally.
My workout routine to lose weight as a mom
As I said, I didn’t exercise at all at the beginning of my weight loss journey. Exercise made me feel really bad about myself because it reminded me of the things that I couldn’t do well.
I waited to feel more confident to start exercising.
I had lost some weight and I felt more energized and happy, and I was excited to keep getting results. That is when I started to exercise.
At first, I did some HOME workouts. I bought the guide from Natacha Oceane. It’s for life, so I am still going to use it this time. I think this is a good way to start losing weight as a stay-at-home mom because it doesn’t take a lot of planning or a lot of change to the kids’ routine.
She does the kind of workouts that I like. They are intense and varied and don’t include a lot of cardio. They are the kind of workouts you will like if you have very little patience.
I did those with my kids. I put on some music and I worked out with my kids around or in the next room being watched by their father.
I did that for a few weeks and then I got excited to go to the gym.
To find the time to work out as a mom, I went to bed early and woke up really really early. I slept in my gym clothes. I worked out and had a shower at the gym. By the time I was back home, my husband and my kids were waking up and I was ready for the day.
Some days, I could swim a little after my workout too. That time for me was so special that I was looking forward to it. It was easy to wake up on time. And if one day I didn’t want to wake up I just didn’t go.
I lifted weights. I did very easy exercises, and I did the same workout for a couple of months, two or three times a week. I kept getting stronger and stronger. My husband put the exercises together. He is not an expert, he just did a little research online and gave me a list of machines. I tried to do it in order but only if the machines were free at the moment. I adjusted the weight so that the last repetition of the exercise was close to my limit.
Eventually, I had dropped enough weight and had gotten strong enough to start practicing a handstand confidently. I did it at home first because I felt ridiculous doing it in front of people, even more so in front of the amazingly fit people in the gym.
And then one special day I got the courage to practice at the gym because there were only a couple of people there.
One of them came to me to say how awesome it was that I could hold it for so long. And I felt amazing.
I kept feeling amazing everywhere. The feeling of being strong translated to all aspects of my life. I felt more confident in my job and more capable as a mother.
I joined an adult gymnastics class 8 months after starting my weight loss journey. 40 lbs lighter, way stronger, and way happier.
It was so much fun. I am getting excited just thinking about it. I will be there again soon.
How to stay motivated on a weight loss journey
To stay motivated on my weight loss journey, I waited to start when I didn’t feel like I was drowning. I asked for help first and got my husband to give me an hour a day for myself for a couple of weeks. I had my pity parties, and my long baths, and I waited until I felt like I had some extra energy to give. Then I gave it to myself.
I decided that I deserved to be happy and taken care of no matter what everyone else needed.
I watched SJ Strum’s videos on weight loss (here’s the playlist). She is a mom of three that I could relate with on a lot of levels. She explained in the videos how amazing she felt, and how she felt like she was doing this huge favor to herself by deciding to lose weight.
I always thought about losing weight and eating better like a sacrifice, but it’s not.
She helped me so much that I went back to her videos this time around. And again, she gave me a push to start. Let’s see where that push takes me.
After starting, the biggest motivation is seeing the results and how the goal approaches.
I had a liter of olive oil always in my counter because it’s what I use to cook, and I used to think that that was the amount of fat that would fall off my body in a week if I stuck to the plan. I don’t know if this would be helpful to anyone else. To me, it was mind-blowing to see all that fat in front of me every day and think that I was carrying lots of it around all day. Can you imagine having 40 lbs of butter spread around you? Sorry if that’s gross to think.
I also had a vision board with a picture of a gymnast.
My goal was to enroll in an artistic gymnastics class for adults 8 months after starting the weight loss journey. I thought a good place to start would be being able to do a handstand before the first class. And I did it!
I have exactly the same goal now. This time I have 7 months.
Buying some new clothes made me excited to lose inches, but I made sure to wear clothes that were slightly too big. This made me feel like I was doing very well all day. I could literally feel my success on my body all day. I was tempted to buy smaller sizes and squeeze into them, but that would have had the opposite effect.
Body positivity and self-love during a weight loss journey as a mom
I feel like I’m not the best person to talk about this because I love and like myself for the most part. And I find all kinds of bodies beautiful.
Yes, I did not feel beautiful sometimes, but that didn’t make me think that I wasn’t worthy. As long as I took care of basic hygiene needs and had clothes that fit me well, I felt so grateful to my body for making me two beautiful healthy children. And honestly, I felt beautiful too.
I think it’s useful to consciously separate how you feel from what you are worthy of. You deserve love at your worst too.
It’s not that I think I’m so beautiful and awesome, it’s more that I don’t think it matters. I feel mostly proud of myself, I know I have flaws but I am good at criticizing myself in a constructive way.
And also, my husband says I’m the most beautiful woman in the world. With or without the extra weight. And that is awesome.
So if you struggle with body positivity and self-love, I hope you can have all the support and looks of admiration that you deserve. I think body positivity mostly comes from knowing and valuing your mind and your personality first. And for that, therapy and loving relationships help a lot.
Creating a positive body image for kids while undergoing weight loss
When I lost weight the last time, my kids were 3 and 1. I don’t think they noticed any change in me.
I was worried about my kids seeing me weigh myself, so I didn’t do it in front of them.
Eating good food and exercising more is not a bad thing for them to see though. They ended up eating salad all the time and they loved it.
I made sure to never talk about weight or calories in front of them. I always have. I would sometimes talk about the nutrients in our food in an educational way. And I have always said that sugar is bad for our bodies and mind, so we eat very little sugar.
I’m a hypocrite. I have obviously eaten a lot of sugar to get to this point. But not in front of them.
I’m a little more worried this time because they are older. I’m honestly debating if I should talk about it or not. But at the same time, I don’t think they look at me and pay attention to my body. The oldest one has seen me getting pregnant twice in 2 years, so it’s probably very normal for him to see my shape change.
Long-term maintenance: How to sustain weight loss results as a mom
The only way to make weight loss sustainable is to make it as enjoyable as possible. That is why I decided to only eat delicious food and not exercise unless I felt like it.
Technically, I didn’t maintain it for a long time. I did for some months, then I got pregnant and I obviously gained weight. But I gained a healthy amount. Except in the third trimester, when I became super anxious about the birth, and then postpartum depression.
My weight was controlled as long as my emotions were more or less OK. The moment I started to fear for my baby and myself, I lost control. Before that though, I had no problem whatsoever eating well and exercising, I enjoyed it.
All that to say that gaining weight back is a possibility, but it’s also not the end of the world. Life happens, and people cope in different ways. In difficult times, everyone lacks somehow. Some people yell at their kids, some drink, some withdraw from their loved ones, some undereat and some overeat.
If you enjoy the journey to a healthier you, it won’t be too difficult to maintain it. But if you do gain some weight back, that is OK too.
Losing weight as a mom of three: here’s how I plan to do it
Step number one is asking my husband to give me some time every day to start feeling like myself again. I’ve done that already.
I’m washing my face and putting on some products that make me feel good. I don’t wear makeup. When I want to feel beautiful I focus more on skincare and braid my hair sometimes.
Then comes the planning.
Eating on autopilot helped me a lot last time, and I want to do the same. However, I don’t have as much quality food available where I live now, and I think it would be difficult for me to eat the same way.
So I have decided to replace some of my meals with a meal replacement to make things easier. I have bought some second-hand because meal replacements are expensive and many times people buy them and don’t use them. I’ve picked the savory kind because I don’t think shakes feel like a meal.
The meal replacement solution is not intended to be long-term. It’s just convenient and I hope that it will give me a kick-start at the beginning. I will only replace one meal or two a day.
I’m using Lose It! to figure out how many calories I should eat for weight loss, and to track my weight.
I’m 5′ 10” and weigh 205 lbs. Before this last pregnancy I weighed 160 lbs, and that is my goal. Today it’s July 20th, 2023, and according to Lose It! I should eat around 1200 kcal a day if I wanted 2 lbs gone every week. With that rate of weight loss, I would get to my goal at the end of the year, which fits with my intention of enrolling in an artistic gymnastics group next semester.
I’m not counting on that, though. I count on eating more than that, maybe 200 extra kcal because I’m tandem breastfeeding my two littles, and sometimes some more because I feel like it. I count on having some setbacks during this journey.
I count on improving my relationship with food and don’t know if I count on it being as easy this time. I’m 30 now, I’m a little older, and a little busier and I simply don’t know if it will be as easy this time.
Since it’s Thursday, and in my mind, a plan starts on Monday, I’m going to count today as week 0 of my plan, hoping to be more organized starting on Monday. I hope the meal replacements have arrived by then.
WEEK 0 of losing weight as a mom of three: 205 lbs
I have had an hour a day to myself for a couple of weeks. I haven’t been stuffing my face at night, and I have been trying to fast a little in the morning and eat eggs for breakfast. I don’t count calories but try not to go crazy with the portions.
I just bought a bathroom scale because we recently moved internationally and didn’t have anything at our new place. It’s a smart scale that is supposed to give you information on fat percentage and other things. I don’t fully trust what it says, but I remember it was fun to see the progress last time. So I bought the same one. I haven’t set it up yet, right now it just measures my weight. I am just thinking right now that I will track the other measurements and share them here too, just for fun.
I have bought three meal replacement boxes. I didn’t care which brand. I bought them second-hand and chose them based on the flavor. They are chicken soup, leak soup, and berries shake.
Since they are not here yet, I will improvise this week’s food trying to stick to the budget with Lose It!
I don’t want to get a gym membership yet, but I may consider doing some HOME. workouts at home when I feel like it. I have had a couple of moments lately of wanting to exercise. That’s a good sign. I will only do it if I feel like it.
I thought I had this genius idea of measuring my waist with a cord and sticking it to the fridge. As I lose waist circumference I can cut the cord. I think it will be very satisfying. And at the same time, I will be reminded of my goal every time I go to the fridge.
Writing this post is also a step towards my goal. I think it will be fun to keep updating it every week. I don’t know if anyone will read it but I already feel accountable. Maybe I will help someone? If you are in the same boat, please comment or send me an email! I don’t have a lot of hope in building a community out of this. I will be happy if someone reads it. Or maybe not. Maybe I will feel ashamed of not actually being able to accomplish my goal. We’ll see… Glowing up as a mom of three feels like an impossible task.
WEEK 0 again
It’s September 15th. It’s been a while since week 0. During this time, I have tried to follow my plan. I have eaten well and was in a calorie deficit for a few days, and then fell into my old habits again. I notice that every time I can’t stick to my plan is because of emotional difficulties that are completely unrelated.
I’ve been feeling very depressed. But I’ve done something different about it. I’ve told my husband to pretend I have the flu and stayed in bed a couple of times while he was taking care of the kids.
I’ve cried while listening to sad music, I’ve thought about people that I miss, and I’ve let myself fall deep in sadness. I realized that as a mom of three who spends 24 hours a day 7 days a week with my kids, I don’t have a healthy way to express anger or sadness on my own.
So now is Friday, and I feel that I have more energy. I’ve lost 2 lbs in this time, and yesterday I got a gym membership with a two-month commitment.
WEEK 1 of losing weight as a mom of three
This week I have actually made some significant changes. It’s September 25th today. I had a full week of doing things the right way.
I have eaten more or less in a calorie deficit, the one I need to lose 2 lbs every week acording to Lose it! adjusting 200 extra calories because I’m breastfeeding. I don’t track, but I estimate in my head. I think I’m eating more though, because I will eat if I’m hungry even if I already spent my calorie budget for the day.
One of the things that I have been eating that I really like is a protein coffee in the morning. I blend coffee, skim milk and vainilla powder. It even has a delicious foam on top (shaking it is not the same). It feels like a treat and it gives me energy and protein so that I don’t feel hungry until noon.
I’ve been eating a lot of eggs, cooked in different ways, and I generally pay attention to protein. I try to eat high protein foods all troughout the day and eat most of the carbs at night, which is when I crave them.
I also have been having salads for lunch, which I don’t usually do. I like to eat vegetables, but I’m not used to eating salad. I’m enjoying them a lot too. Salads can be delicious.
Sometimes I eat meal replacements. One or two a week. I thought I would enjoy the convenience more. But they are still useful sometimes.
And after I put the kids to bed, I have a protein chocolate pudding as a treat. Sometimes greek yogurt with berries and nuts. Sometimes a burger, with the bun, the cheese, and everything.
I’m not feeling deprived at all. But I also don’t let myself eat out of boredom.
I joined a group sport, and I’m so HAPPY about it! I went to practice 2 times and went to the gym and lifted weights 2 times. The first day I was incredibly sore, but not anymore now. I already made some progress in the gym by adding more weight to the same routine.
The exercise has given me immediate satisfaction, better self image, and just happiness, honestly. I take some steam off and I socialize with an amazing group of supportive people.
The most difficult part about exercising, for me, has been making myself actually leave the house. I put my three kids to bed (which is not the most motivating task in the world) and then I leave.
I leave when the kids are in bed, but I have a baby that is used to sleeping with me all the time. So it’s not easy for him. I come back from practice at midnight, so he has had time to look for me at least one time by the time I’m back. I’m sad for him. He did not like that I wasn’t there when he needed me to be. But I guess it’s time for my husband to be able to stay with him at night without me.
I have mom guilt, but the way I’m feeling when I exercise far outweight my guilt and my baby’s hard time.
My progress on week 1 losing weight as a mom of three
This week, I haven’t lost any weight.
However, I lost FOUR AND A HALF INCHES in my waist. WHAT THE HELL? I really can’t believe it. I’m sure I have lost in my hips, legs, and arms too, but I only measured my waist. I can see it. I feel like I’m imagining because of the way exercise makes me feel mentally and emotionally, but then I look at the numbers and it seems real.
I don’t know. I think I will need to see how my progress goes long term. I also had my period, and I’m sure this made me heavier. It made me hungrier, for sure.
I think I should take pictures, and I should use my scale’s blows and whisles to mesure my fat loss better. But I can’t bring myself to do it at the moment.
My progress on week 2, 3 and 4 losing weight as a mom of three
My total weight loss since I started is 11 lbs. I weigh 194 lbs now. So 11 lbs in a month. And I am stronger and happier. I’m more active. I enjoy exercising.
I had some major challenges with my family the last couple of weeks, and I have been only trying to get by. I haven’t exercised in two weeks. But today I have practice.
So now that it has been a while and it’s working, here are some things that are helping me feel satisfied with food.
I already said that I couldn’t do this by eating boring food that I don’t enjoy. One of the most important things that I am doing is not to eat mindlessly. Everything I eat is delicious and good for me in some way.
3 Products that have helped me be successful in my weight loss
They are keto-friendly, gluten-free, made with whole ingredients, and most importantly, ABSOLUTELY DELICIOUS. I made my husband hide them because I would eat them all at once. They are filling, but so good it’s hard to stop. Seriously, if you are trying to lose weight and you need a snack that will fill your soul but is not unhealthy and will not make you feel like you are cheating, try them at least once. There are many flavours, but I haven’t been able to try any of the ones that have peanuts.
Again, it fills my soul. I drink the ready-made frappuccinos. I love the taste so much, it feels like a treat. It makes me feel like I’m starting the day right, because coffee is for productive people, right? Even though it’s mostly milk. It’s very convenient because it comes ready to drink. Sometimes, I blend it with vanilla protein powder and skim milk. It’s not a weight loss product, but it works for me. If I had the option though, I would just buy expresso shots, and mix it with skim milk and vanilla protein powder. But I can’t buy it where I live.
I add this to my coffee to make it filling and protein-packed. So instead of having a sweet treat that I like, I have a sweet treat that I like, makes me feel full, and gives me some extra protein that I need in order to lose fat without losing a lot of muscle.
WEEK 0 AGAIN ONE YEAR LATER
I’m mad at myself reading this. I had built momentum, I was doing fine. And then I went back to the old ways. I had something difficult happening in my life, and I lost control. It’s been a whole year of losing, then having something disturb my peace, and going back to binging and gaining the weight. It’s not that I restrict too much and then binge. It’s that I can’t keep the good habits when something shakes my routine and I lose it.
Anyway, I will write here if something changes.
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