What is the best room temperature for bed-sharing with a baby?
The ideal room temperature for bed-sharing is between 60 F and 68 F (16-20° C). It is important that babies do not overheat while also being comfortable. Since your baby is going to have you close for extra warmth, the room should be a little cooler than if they slept alone.
We live above the polar circle most of the year, but in Spain for some months. What we do is adjust the room temperature according to the outside to keep the best air quality possible.
In Norway, when temperatures are always below 60 F, it makes sense to keep the room cool all year round, around 60 F (or 16° C). We keep the window open in the summer and the heating low in the winter and we dress warm enough to be comfortable.
In Spain, we can keep our room around 68 F (or 20° C) using air conditioning in the summer, a little heating in the winter, but having the windows open for most of the year.
Since newborns that share a bed with their breastfeeding parents usually sleep very close to them, it is important to dress the baby in fewer clothes than you would if they slept alone.
What are the safety rules for bed-sharing with a baby?
These are the safe sleep 7 for bed-sharing:
- NO SMOKING: Smoking parents increases the risk of SIDS.
- NO DRUGS: The use of alcohol or other drugs can make you less alert in your sleep.
- BREASTFEEDING MOTHER: Breastfeeding mothers and babies wake up more frequently during the night.
- HEALTHY BABY: Premature and small babies are at greater risk for SIDS.
- BABY ON BACK: The safest position for sleeping is on their back.
- NO OVERHEATING: The baby should be dressed to avoid overheating.
- SAFE BED: Flat firm surface with nowhere for babies to get trapped, no bedding, pillows or other suffocation hazards close to the baby.
So remember, no bedding close to the baby, which means two things. Your baby will have to be dressed warm enough to not need to be covered with any kind of bedding. And you will have to be dressed warm enough to not need heavy bedding covering your upper body.
Sleep in a cuddle curl position facing your baby, both well dressed and alert to keep your baby comfortable and safe next to you. Breastfeed them when they need to be fed and put them back on their back.
How do you dress a baby for bed-sharing?
With a room temperature of around 60-68 F (or 16-20° C), a bed-sharing baby can wear two layers of cotton, for example, a cotton onesie and a cotton pajama with feet. If they scratch their skin, also cover their hands to avoid them hurting themselves.
In general, I would recommend two layers of cotton.
The first layer should be a cotton bodysuit, preferably one that opens at the front to make night changes easier, like these from Carter’s.
The second layer could be a gown like these organic cotton kimono gowns by Touched by Nature, or these footed pajamas from Carter’s. Some people like to use wearable blankets like these ones. All three of these can open from the bottom to the top, that way you don’t have to uncover their upper body when changing their diaper at night.
I prefer to use pajamas because a baby that breastfeeds and shares a bed with you is going to be moving side to belly up and back to the side throughout the night to feed. I prefer that they get full freedom of movement from the beginning. And I feel that the gowns are blankets don’t allow that much freedom of movement.
For the same reason, it is not recommended to swaddle babies that sleep in the same bed as their parents.
How do I know if my baby is too warm or too cold while bed-sharing?
To know if your baby is dressed appropriately for the temperature, check the back of their neck. It should be warm but not hot or sweating. It is normal for babies’ hands and feet to feel cold, but that does not mean that their body temperature is too low.
How do you dress a toddler for bed-sharing?
With a room temperature of around 60-68 F (or 16-20° C), a bed-sharing toddler can wear a cotton inner layer and a warm fleece pajama. Toddlers should not use heavy blankets, and they usually keep some space from their parents in bed, so they should wear warmer clothes to sleep.
In addition to that, once the baby turns one year old, the risk for SIDS decreases significantly, and they can wear a less breathable fabric like fleece.
These fleece pajamas from Carter’s are my favorite. Unfortunately for me, I cannot get them locally. I have bought a couple and used them and loved them. But I prefer to not buy things from abroad. My mother is amazing and makes this kind of pajamas for my kids. They are warm, cozy, and just perfect. I think my kids will live in these for years.
How do I know if my toddler is too warm or too cold while bed-sharing?
To know if your toddler is dressed appropriately for the temperature, check the back of their neck. It should be warm but not hot or sweaty. If you bed-share with your toddler and he keeps getting closer to you during the night, he might be too cold.
If your toddler already speaks, you can also ask them if they feel too cold or too hot at night. Be prepared for them to make up an answer, though.
How do you dress an older child for bed-sharing?
Older children who share a bed with their family might use a duvet of their own and sleep in the same bed but with their own space. They should dress as if they were sleeping on their own according to the temperature of the room.
How do you dress for bed-sharing with a newborn baby?
If you bed-share with a small baby that is still at risk of suffocation, there should not be any bedding close to the baby that could cover their face. The breastfeeding parent then has to be dressed in clothes warm enough so that they don’t need bedding close to the baby.
When I breastfeed with a baby, I cover myself with a duvet but just below the waist. The duvet is tucked below me so that there is no bedding in the place where the baby sleeps or below. When babies become mobile, the first way they crawl is backward. We want to avoid them getting below the bedding accidentally.
To avoid covering myself accidentally at night and therefore putting my baby in danger, I have to dress my upper body to be warm enough to not need the cover, but accessible for the baby to breastfeed.
The best way for me to do that is to wear a breastfeeding tank top and a cropped sweater on top of it.
Here is a document from UNICEF on how to care for your baby at night.
Have you already shared your bed with your firstborn and you are now considering bed-sharing in a family bed with more than one child? Here is my post on bed-sharing in a family bed.
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