Disclaimer: I am not a medical doctor, so I can’t recommend anything that is going to affect your health. Take what I say for what it is: the thoughts of a mother of three that has dealt with nursing aversion while pregnant twice.
What does nursing aversion feel like?
Nursing aversion feels like nails on a chalkboard. Like when the eraser on the end of a pencil runs too low and the metal rubs on the paper. Grinding teeth. I’m sure you have your own version of this.
Nursing aversion gives a sensation of repulsion that you don’t know where it comes from. You are looking at your baby that you love so much, you know breastfeeding is about bonding for them, you know how loved and safe they feel when they are breastfeeding, and you still want someone to make it stop, or you want to run away.
And then you feel guilty because who would think like that? And then you make it stop because you can’t handle it and they cry and you feel more guilty. And then you start avoiding too much closeness with your baby because you don’t want them to think about nursing. You make sure you are always covered so they don’t get any ideas.
When they ask to breastfeed, you agree with a fake smile but you hate it. You resent your baby for asking, and your partner for not being entertaining enough so the baby prefers them.
You have nursing aversion while pregnant and you think that it’s worth going through it because it’s temporary. Tandem breastfeeding is going to make having a sibling easier for your kid that’s already here, and you really don’t want to make your baby feel replaced.
I think nursing aversion is manageable when it is temporary and not too intense. But it can be horrible, and when it is, really no one should have to go through it or feel like they failed if they had to wean.
Is breastfeeding aversion while pregnant worse at night?
In my experience, and everyone I’ve talked to about this, breastfeeding aversion is worse at night.
In general, everything is worse at night, isn’t it? Especially if your breastfeeding kid is not letting you sleep.
If you are having nursing aversion while pregnant, I guess you are probably contemplating tandem breastfeeding. Tandem breastfeeding is beautiful, and it can also be challenging. I don’t have experience with tandem breastfeeding through the night. The two times I have tandem breastfed with a newborn, my toddler night weaned during the pregnancy with a little encouragement from us.
If you are struggling with nursing aversion at night, maybe it would be a good time to night wean if your little one is ready. You can do it slowly and kindly, it doesn’t have to be forced. Here are some tips on night weaning.
Does nursing aversion during pregnancy go away after birth?
Unfortunately, there is no definitive answer. However, everyone I know had the same experience. Nursing aversion goes away the moment you give birth to your baby. You don’t feel any aversion with the little one, and the one that you felt with the older one diminishes.
How do I get past the nursing aversion?
Drinking a lot of water, eating good food and general self-care can make coping with nursing aversion during pregnancy much easier.
Having boundaries around breastfeeding and your personal space is also very important. If you struggle with nursing aversion at night, it is a good idea to put boundaries at night. They can be about limiting time, or space, or the duration of breastfeeding.
Teaching your child to ask nicely and not just jump on you any time you sit also goes a long way. Noone likes to feel used. And children without limits can definitely make you feel used for your body. Asking nicely should always go together with knowing how to take no for an anwer.
Here’s more on my thoughts about coping with nursing aversion.
Why does nursing aversion happen?
Nursing aversion hasn’t been studied a lot.
We know that it is worse when extended breastfeeding, tandem breastfeeding, or breastfeeding while pregnant.
So it really seems to be about exhausting the body, doesn’t it?
It’s unpredictable and really unavoidable.
Does magnesium help with breastfeeding aversion while pregnant?
Many women say that magnesium supplements make breastfeeding aversion go away. Some swear by magnesium oil. But who knows? Magnesium supplements are used to improve mood. And they are sometimes used in pregnancy too.
I am not a medical doctor, so I don’t recommend you just go buy magnesium without any more information than what I am giving you.
Here is more information about how much magnesium someone needs while pregnant or breastfeeding.
In case you don’t know this, E-lactation is a database with medications and their components and their safety level when breastfeeding.
Lastly, not all supplements are the same quality, and not everything that is sold online is safe. So if you are going to give magnesium a chance, please make sure you are safe.
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